Saturday, May 28, 2005

Raddisson, Room 429

It's quite good to be in a new place. Away from the "normal" life, it always gives me a sense of objectivity. Hmm...maybe, this is why I've always moved to a different place whenever I feel my emotions are in havoc. When a haircut just won't do or numerous trips to the spa won't help, I tend to resort to drastic changes. Hehehe :)

Looking back, things were not going well with C**** that I had myself assigned to MD. I turned out to be the right move as I was happy in MD. I guess a lil too happy that I'd get crushed everytime it was time to go home. I would have moved there in an instant, if I only had something to move for. But it turns out there was none. Thus, I ended up taking a job in Singapore... which got me here.

Dusseldolf. Raddison Hotel. Room 429. TV with all German channels. Buffet breakfast with all types of sausages. A very European dining saloon. And a wonderful cleaning lady which always leaves fresh flowers by the window sill :)

This Germany trip came at the right time. It truly is beautiful here. I walk around and take in the beauty of it all. Cool architecture. Lovely park. Quite friendly people. Maybe it's being in a place I may never get to see again or be around people I may never meet again...that somehow makes me appreciate the present more.

I am here...and the time is now :)

Away from the sun

I was listening to this song and just started writing....


I'm away from the sun...
His soulful presence
Which makes my days brighter
And my heart content.

Like a sun-kissed flower,
I bloomed with his touched.
Surrounded by his warmth,
I felt the rays of life.

He seems to be so far gone...
I am missing his shine.
Irreplaceable, a true gem...
He is my sun.

I watch him glowing radiantly
to his new planet, a new life.
From afar, I smile...
As he is happy.

So far gone...
I am missing his shine.
I am missing my sun.


I finally met a cute German. I was sitting at the hotel lounge and there he was. He kept staring at me, as if to catch my attention. When I did glance his way, he'd give me the cutest smile that I couldn't help but smile back. The staring and smiling went on for a good twenty minutes. Given more time, I think I would have fallen in love with him -- except that he is 4 feet too short and 25 years to young :) Two year old Zachary is a definite charmer.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

An unsent letter

Dearest W.A.,

Maybe it was the "pitter-patter" of the rain on the hotel windows when I woke up this morning...that always reminds me of you. I walk these foreign streets, amidst the bustling European lights and people greeting "guten tag"... and I thought of you.

I smile as I think of how you probably will laugh out loud once I tell you of my misadventures since I got here, or how you'll listen to my animated stories about this wonderful place... Then, again, reality sinks in and I realize that you are busy nowadays. I understand that my stories will have to be left untold.

As I should, I continue to walk and move along with my journey. Stories may be left untold and thoughts may be left unsaid, but everything is still felt. Like that Dido song, I remain...

Wherever I may go, whenever it rains, I will think of you. With each raindrop, I will be reminded of the fondest moments. With each "pitter-patter", I will be wishing for your happiness.


Monday, May 09, 2005

Tuesday Morning

... in the dark. Ok, just remembered that Michelle Branch song. It's 130AM, technically, really early Tuesday morning. Guess what I'm doing? Surfing train tickets to Paris! :) Yep, it seems that my Germany trip is finally pushing through. I'm not super excited as there are lots of work stuff to do... but I'm sure looking forward to a lil European escapade.

Busy busy day. I don't know how Orange and I can survive the week with the tons of things to look into. But we'll be ok... Two things that get us through the day: 1) Stress Tabs from GNC which has the amazing ability to calm us down, and 2) that cute smile and baritone voice from the other cube, which has the amazing ability to make us giggly highschool girls. LOL.

Ok, 134 USD one way - Dusseldorf to Paris. Not bad... Can I just buy a one way ticket and stay for a while? :) ... The city of lights... It should be very interesting!

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Chapter One

And so, the conversations began...

She noticed that he is a good listener. Whenever she speaks, he would look straight at her, hanging on to every word. He shares his views and opinions with plain objectivity. No judgements, no bias. He has a hearty laugh and some wise cracks. All around nice guy, she thinks.

Then came the emails... And today's movie...

For the past month, she shut out meeting new people. Alone time was much needed. Detaching from the world was a result of sorting her chaotic emotions. Today, though, she realizes that new friendships are inevitable... maybe, even necessary. Like the rain, new friends shower opportunities to further grow and learn.

She woke up this morning expecting a 'normal' day... But, she heads to bed thinking that it sure was pretty interesting.

(To be continued...)

Friday, May 06, 2005


Some people just love to make excuses. "I can't because"..."Maybe next time"...Blah, blah, blah. In reality, they just can't say what they really mean. I understand if it's someone you barely know. They can say anything and I couldn't care less. But from people who claim to be your "friend", it's just annoying to be fed with crap.

If you're my friend, as you say you are, don't give me bullsh*t. Say whatever you mean, mean whatever you say. Don't say you care, then at the first test of friendship, you flake out. Don't downplay things for me. I'm intelligent enough to get it and I care enough to try and understand you. At the very least, learn how to respect who I am, my world, and how I feel. If you can't do those things, freakin' leave me alone.

Wow, I'm pissed (that seldom happens...hehe). For the first time in a long time, I don't give a damn.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005


11:15 AM. She sits with her book, listening to a loud song in an attempt to drown out the heavy thoughts from the previous day. Numb by Linkin Park. Darn good choice. Absorbed by the fictitious world she's reading about, she temporarily floats away from the pressing issues of the present. Breakfast? Oops. Sleep? Forgot about that too.Work? Don't even ask.

Today is probably going to be a lil stressful, she thinks. Then, she looks up... accidentally meeting those eyes... totally unfamiliar; yet, somehow, strangely assuring...

(To Be Continued...)

Monday, May 02, 2005

Trigger Day

I got this concept from a book I've been reading. Basically, it's a day which causes a rush of memories...a semblance of the past seeping into the present. It could be a birthday, anniversary, the day a friendship begun...

May 2nd. X-Men 2. Loew's across the street. It was a Friday, after work, around 5-ish. The weather was good then, neither too cold nor too hot. He parked the car while I got the tickets. I had my shell necklace on while he accesorized with his cute smile. Cool movie. Great company. The conversation was flowing and I kept on laughing. It was perfect... Then, after that day, came a string of dinners, lunches, movies - a friendship so unexpected that I couldn't pinpoint exactly how it could have started... and thrived.

It has been a couple of years. A lot has happened. A lot has changed. There were the daily chats, regular phonecalls, cards, emails, trips to visit, 'sweetie','my dear'... Now, most of that has gone. Given life upgrades and our present lives needing time and attention, things are not how they used to be.

The important thing is that the friendship is still there.... A day turns into a week. A week turns into a month. A month turns into a year... Everything will evolve but I have faith that the friendship will remain- through all the changes and through time.

I guess I'm a sentimental shmuck huh? Some people misconstrue it as 'living in the past'. But, sometimes, I'm just like that... I remember... I remember everything and I remember well. Like an antique rock, poignant memories are etched.

Today is my trigger day. May 2nd. A day after labor day. To me, it will always be much, much more than ordinary.