Thursday, December 29, 2005

Change...

I came across this cool quote... Another one for the New Year...

"Change... A bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you fail to make the turn."

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Closing Cycles by Paolo Coehlo

I read this in Cla's site and found it really interesting. So apt for the coming of the new year. New year, new life. As Lethel would say, "Tabularasa".... (Lethel girl, happy birthday! :))
...

Closing Cycles by Paolo Coehlo

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.

Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents' house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden?

You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.

None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back.

Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away. That is why it is so important (however painful it maybe!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.

Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the ideal moment. Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person. Nothing is irreplaceable. A habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Lessons Learned, 2005

There's one line from Ally McBeal which stuck to me. I don't know the exact words, but it was something like this --- If you look back at the year, and it doesn't make you smile or cry, then consider the year wasted. Otherwise, it was still a meaningful year as the laughter and/or tears added something to your life.

For me, 2005 may have been more on the 'tears' part. Hehehe. But, although scathed and bruised, the point is I survived :) There have been lessons learned and to sum it all up, I think I can take some lines from my most played songs this year:

* I can't live if you're unhappy. I can't live if you cry. But I can live without you if it makes you smile... I can't wait to see you rising. I can't wait to see you shine - "Maybe It's Just Me" by Butch
Lesson 1: Loving someone means wishing for their happiness even if it means you aren't a part of it. Everything else is secondary.

* On the way down, I saw you and you saved me from myself. And I won't forget the way you love me. - "On the Way Down" by Jason Mraz
Lesson 2: Through a trying time and possibly your lowest point, people who truly matter will be there for you.

* Close my eyes let the whole thing pass me by. There is no time to waste asking why. - ( I still dunno the title of this song :-/)
Lesson 3: Acceptance is key. Some things are neither explainable nor comprehensible. They're meant to stay that way.

* We'll rise inspite of our fears inside... From our ashes, we'll rise. -"We Rise" by Rama Duke
Lesson 4: That which doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

* Scars are souvenirs you never lose. The past is never far. - "Name" by Goo goo Dolls
Lesson 5: So true. But at one point, you have to let go of something that has long been gone. Anchors away.

* We're moving too fast. The whole world is in a rush. Everybody just hush. -"Hush" by L.L. Cool
Lesson 6: Sometimes, you have to stop and just be still... to get a clearer picture and gain your sense of direction.

* Maybe there's another plan, one I still can't see... The answer will come. Hold on to patience and watch for the sign. - "Everything in Its Time" by Corrinne May
Lesson 7: Look forward with hope. At the right time, everything will simply fall into place :)

7 lessons... With these lessons come maturity and strength. More ready to brave battles, face changes, and cherish moments, I can now say... "Bring it on" ;)

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Waiting

I've been waiting for a cab for the last 30 minutes. This is usually the fastest way to get to work and running late for my 10AM meeting, it seemed to be the best plan. But NO! I've been calling 2 taxi companies at the same time - one from my landline, another from my mobile phone - and I can't seem to get a cab. "No taxis are available at the moment. Please continue to hold". Sigh.

When you're stuck in a rut, you need to come up with alternative solutions quickly. Thus, I call Satish and asked for a conference bridge number so I can dial in while en route to work. Smart ey? Well, well, well...Turns out I really don't need to attend that meeting. They'll just call me if any questions come up. Cool.

Still a problem remains, how do I get to work now? Will I continue holding for a cab and possibly get to work in the next half-hour? Or do I get on the next train and get to work an hour later?

I think I'll wait.

Sometimes, to get to your destination, you'll have to be patient. The best ride of your life may be coming if you just wait a little longer..... and I just don't mean getting to work :) I guess this applies to other things as well.

"Taxi number: SHA9523". Wooohoo.

Sometimes, it pays to wait.

Neruda, rediscovered

I haven't read Pablo Neruda in a while so to stumble upon his poetry this morning was a welcome surprise. "Tonight I can Write the Saddest Lines" is a very poignant one. However, I should say that "Here I Love You" is still my favorite. It is worth reading and re-reading and re-reading....

Here I Love You
by Pablo Neruda

Here I love you.
In the dark pines the wind disentangles itself.
The moon glows like phosphorous on the vagrant waters.
Days, all one kind, go chasing each other.

The snow unfurls in dancing figures.
A silver gull slips down from the west.
Sometimes a sail. High, high stars.
Oh the black cross of a ship.
Alone.

Sometimes I get up early and even my soul is wet.
Far away the sea sounds and resounds.
This is a port.

Here I love you.
Here I love you and the horizon hides you in vain.
I love you still among these cold things.
Sometimes my kisses go on those heavy vessels
that cross the sea towards no arrival.
I see myself forgotten like those old anchors.

The piers sadden when the afternoon moors there.
My life grows tired, hungry to no purpose.
I love what I do not have. You are so far.
My loathing wrestles with the slow twilights.
But night comes and starts to sing to me.

The moon turns its clockwork dream.
The biggest stars look at me with your eyes.
And as I love you, the pines in the wind
want to sing your name with their leaves of wire.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Calendar

The office just gave away 2006 desk calendars. Each page, each month is marked by a painting of a Singapore landmark. It's quite nice. I particularly like the June 2006 page which captures the busy Temple street.

2006. Wow, it's just around the corner. I can't believe we're already on the last month of the year. It went by pretty quick and as it is coming to a close, I can't help but look back at the the year that was...

I have made 3 major goals for myself for 2005 and got 2 of 3 done. I guess that's not bad. I got the Singapore move done and as far as the other goal is concerned, it's moving along quite fine. The only one which I wasn't able to do is Interior Design, which unfortunately would have to wait yet another year or so.

A few other changes also happened this year. Some of which were welcome changes. Others, I was not able to cope with much ease. But with each line and each twist, there have been lessons learned, no matter how miniscule. There have been realizations accepted, friendships built, and character traits honed. The point is not really how the story ends, but how it was lived and absorbed.

Flipping through these calendar pages, my mind is churning of plans for the next year. As of the moment, I already have 4 goals in mind - 2 of which are pretty attainable and the other 2, well, we'd have to wait and see :) I'm just so excited for this year to officially close. I can't wait for 2006.

Like the dawn of a new day, the new year is full of promise. We can only hope it to be so great...but we cannot be fully ready for all the events that are to happen. Then again, we can accept. We can battle. We can get hurt. We can learn. We can grow.

Somehow though, I feel that 2006 will be much, much, much better :) As Keith would say, it really is time to "feel the pleasures of elevation and flight once again".

We'll see... we'll see.